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Your competent child : toward new basic values for the family / Jesper Juul.

By: Juul, Jesper, 1948-.
Material type: materialTypeLabelBookPublisher: New York : Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2001Edition: 1st American ed.Description: vii, 260 p. ; 22 cm.ISBN: 0374527334; 0374527903 (pbk.).Uniform titles: Dit kompetente barn. English Subject(s): Performance in children | Child rearingDDC classification: 649.1 Online resources: Contributor biographical information | Publisher description Summary: In this important book, Jesper Juul argues that today's families are at an exciting crossroads. The destructive values - obedience, physical and emotional violence, and conformity - that governed traditional hierarchical families are being transformed. Instead we can choose to embrace a new set of values based on the assumption that families must be built not on authoritarian force or democratic tyranny but on dignity and reciprocity between parent and child. Children are competent to express their feelings from birth, and they are eager to cooperate. It is parents who must work to listen and learn from their children. When our children's behavior makes us feel less than valuable, the it is almost always because we are. That is, prior to conflict, we were unable to convert our loving feelings into loving behavior, our good intentions into fruitful interaction.
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In this important book, Jesper Juul argues that today's families are at an exciting crossroads. The destructive values - obedience, physical and emotional violence, and conformity - that governed traditional hierarchical families are being transformed. Instead we can choose to embrace a new set of values based on the assumption that families must be built not on authoritarian force or democratic tyranny but on dignity and reciprocity between parent and child. Children are competent to express their feelings from birth, and they are eager to cooperate. It is parents who must work to listen and learn from their children. When our children's behavior makes us feel less than valuable, the it is almost always because we are. That is, prior to conflict, we were unable to convert our loving feelings into loving behavior, our good intentions into fruitful interaction.

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05/09/2009

from his introduction: "...It is perhaps more true now than ever before that the way in which we behave towards our children will determine the future of the world... adults are seriously considering the inalienable right of the individual to personal growth from a non-dogmatic and non-authoritarian standpoint. For the first time, we have a basis for believing that each individual's existential freedom does not constitute a threat towards the community, but is rather vital to the continued health of the community as a whole." Edit

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